The Replay

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Over, and over and over again. There it goes. The unpleasantness of that memory, causing you to wilt and wither. The thing that turned you into what and who you are today. It’s always triggered by something. Deceptively lying low inside you, as if keeping a low profile, until something happens; a word is said, you smell something, you see something, or you hear something, and it rises to the surface, and you end up replaying and reliving the damage. And you realize, that you are still stuck. You have not overcome it. You have not gotten rid of it. The replay. Always lurking. Always hiding. Always hidden. Waiting to come to the surface.You have to get rid of it, dear friend. You have to end that replay before it ends you.

What caused the replay? What lies beneath that replay? Who lies beneath the replay? What, who brought this replay into your life, your soul, your spirit, your mind, your universe? Have you become comfortable with the replay? Can’t live with it, can’t live without it? Don’t accept that dear friend. Don’t give in to it. I know it is stuck to your soul, but you have to dig it out and let go of it. Otherwise it will constrain you, for all your life.

Look at yourself now. I mean, like, really, now. Now. What do you see? Who do you see? Where are you going? Where is the replay taking you? What is the replay doing for you? Is it enriching you? Is is empowering you? Is it building you up? Is it inspiring you? Is it motivating you? Is it assisting you to fulfill your destiny, your purpose, your dreams?

I think, most likely, in all truth, it is debilitating you. It is withering you bit by bit, making you lose your color, lose your mind. It is draining you day by day. it has probably led you into habits and doing things that you regret; things that further dis-empower you. For how long my friend? For how long? Stop. Stop the replay. Stop it now. Make it go away. Find help, find assistance, or simply write. Whatever you do, don’t let the replay eat you alive. Don’t let the replay sink and bury you. 

You do have power over the replay. Tap into it and set yourself free!

 

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Write My Love, Write!

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Write my love, write.

Write until your hearts sings.

Write until the tears flow.

Write until you hop, skip and jump.

Write until you feel like running to the finish line.

Write until you feel like swimming across a mighty ocean.

Write until you feel like climbing the highest mountain.

Write until you feel the sun on your face.

Write until the burdens fall off.

Write until your mental chains are broken.

Write until your emotional shackles shatter.

Write until you think only life not death.

Write until you sing. Write until you dance.

Write until you rejuvenate and see the light.

Write until revelation kicks in and you find your answers.

Write until you find redemption.

Write until you sway with the words you write, until you are one with them.

Write until your deliverance comes.

Write without restraints.

Write without holding back.

Write, until you soar like the eagle. 

Write until you feel like anything is possible.

Write until you are released from your pain and agony.

Write until you discover that your healing is not impossible!

Yes, write my love, write.

 

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Broken Record New Song

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At some point in our lives, we have to stop asking why. Why did this happen to me? Why me? Why not someone else? Is it the way I look? Did I ask for this? What did I do to deserve this?  Why, why, why, the never ending why record that never stops spinning, over, and over, and over, and over again.  But what if we spun that spinning around? What if we decided to just stop asking why, and got rid of that record for good?

I think that that is a really healthy idea, because obsessively asking why just makes us sicker and sicker, mentally, emotionally, spiritually and physically. It does not heal us, it does not bring us comfort, it does not grant us liberty or freedom.  It keeps us shut down,unable to function properly, and it pins us down in dungeons of darkness and self-pity, crippling us from becoming the best we can ever be.

Asking the question, why me, continuously, drains and depletes us. It does not bring or give the answers, and the likelihood of our ever finding the answer(s) is zero, to many of our traumatic why me experiences. What does not have to be zero, what should never have to be zero, is the sum of your life, and how you have lived it after your trauma. There is nothing fulfilling or wholesome about why me. There is everything worthwhile in turning that around and claiming, “I deserve better! I can do and be better than what happened to me. I can rise above it!” Let that be your ‘broken’ record. Let that be your new song. Play it, dance to it, until it becomes your reality.

Be grateful for every breath you breathe, for every good door that is opened to you, for every opportunity that comes your way, and for every chance to become the best version of you. Snap out of why me and soar with, it can only get better from now on! You have survived thus far, now give yourself the opportunity to live and to thrive.

Inexplicable why me. There can be so many answers that really lead to nothing. The one constant is that no matter how much you ask that question, it does not erase what happened to you, instead it makes you relive what you no longer want to remember. why me never helped anyone, and it’s not going to start with you. What has helped many is the hope and the determination to begin their lives afresh. Their new beginning has taken them to places they never thought possible, and the same can be for you, if you will only stop dancing to why me.

Stop playing the why me record that leads to a path of self-destruction.

Change that broken why me record to a new song, “I am alive to thrive!”

 

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Rewrite Your Trauma

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I wonder what would happen if instead of living a life of regret, pain, shame and guilt, we decided to write down the beautiful things about ourselves, and focused on living those beautiful things? I wonder what would happen if we walked in the beauty that we see in ourselves, and not shy away from it, but accept it? I wonder what would happen if we came to terms with the truth that we are worth loving and being loved in return?

We are not used up, unwanted scraps. We do not have to be light hidden under a bushel. We are not our trauma. We have a voice, a heart, a spirit, a mind and a soul. We feel. We ache. But we can find the power to rewrite our trauma. You know, as excruciating and painful as it was, we can turn it into a gift to the self and for the world. We can rewrite it so that we glow and our shine radiates and permeates into the lives of others to bring them wholeness as well. We can give others a lifeline to start their lives afresh.

We can stand on the pillars of hope instead of hopelessness. We can stand on the rock of joy instead of depression. We can stand on the mountain of laughter instead of bitterness. We can stand on the anchor of love instead of hatred. And we can stand on the foundation of compassion instead of anger. We can rewrite our trauma by making the free will choice to do so, uplifting and buoying up not just ourselves, but others who are deeply wounded and hurt very deeply. In return, our hearts begin to thaw out, joy begins to flow within us, peace begins to take over, and salvation and deliverance begin to take place. We transform from our bitterness into our sweetness. We become renewed, fresh droplets of clean water flowing from our souls touching other lives and giving them reason to live on, and not give up. We can do it, so can they! 

Rewrite your trauma. Rewrite your pain. Turn your ordeal into emancipation for yourself and liberation for others. Let that be the story your life, not your trauma. Don’t allow what injured and devastated you to determine who you will become, instead, turn it around, rewrite your trauma, and become who you should be, a wonderful gift to the world.

Should we, must we, we deny the rest of our precious lives the joy of living, being, expressing, birthing and creating? Must we deny ourselves life itself and all the good it has to offer? I think not.

Rewrite your trauma and live!

 

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Piece By Piece

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Rising above and conquering the defilement, degradation and debasement of abuse, rape and molestation is a monumental task. One feels beaten up and unable to continue on. However, we cannot allow or permit such trauma and tragedy, to get the better of us.

There are millions of us, men, women, boys and girls, who have been raped, sexually molested, and abused, physically, emotionally, verbally and spiritually. Being violated in is indescribable. The depth of pain, trauma, filth, shame and guilt of a person who has undergone even just one of those sickening and debilitating experiences is inexpressible. Putting the life altering damage into words is indefinable. But we can, and we should, dis-empower our trauma, piece by piece, and thrive!

The torture of the memories, the agony of wanting to be able to wash it all away, the pain of trying to cleanse one’s mind, soul and spirit from them, are enough to lead one to all kinds of self-destructing and self-defeating vices. When one has been abused in truth, when abuse is real, one lives with its nauseating existence, wishing that he or she could just wish it away and it would never show its ugly dark head again.  One creates a realm, a self-protective bubble that only he or she can live in, where hopefully, no one can reach and touch and hurt them again, spiritually, emotionally, verbally or physically. It is unhealthy but the abused needs that bubble space to get away, if only for one minute. In our quest to never be or get hurt again, we work hard to ensure that it becomes our emotional fortress and build it to become extremely formidable for anyone to enter.

But at some point for our own sake and for that of others, because we are a part of this world, and the world a part of us, we have to lay it down and walk away from it. It is easier said than done, and I am not sure that the pain ever really goes away, for many of us, but this I do know, that we can create and spread joy, love, healing, piece by piece, for ourselves and for others. It is a decision. A very tough one, but not impossible. Many have found healing through writing, what is your outlet? Is it music, is it writing, is it dancing, is it talking about it? Find your healing, get your healing, piece by piece.

Regardless of what has happened, we can put our lives together again, piece by piece. With quiet determination we can overcome our pain, shame and guilt about something we did not wish for, or bring upon ourselves. It is not our weight to carry. It is not our burden to bear. We must know that, accept that, walk in that, and piece by piece, receive and give back joy, love, peace, kindness, and even healing.

If we do not, we will lose the beautiful purpose our beautiful souls were sent on this Earth to fulfill. Don’t allow the darkness to overwhelm and overtake you. Don’t give the rapist, the violator, the molester and the abuser that kind of power over your beautiful soul and spirit. No, instead, piece by piece, every day, find time to discover your true self, bring him or her out, and live an overcoming life, one that is determinedly and deliberately put back together by your will-power and choice. Breathe and know that you deserve that. You deserve a wholesome life, no matter how battered and shattered you have been.

Conquer your violator. Conquer your molester. Conquer your rapist. Piece by piece.

Piece by piece! 

 

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To Write Your Heart

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If it were an easy thing to do, to write your heart and express what truly, secretly lies within, we would all be writing. But writing about your heart, your life, your true story, is no easy feat. It is no child’s play. It is courage beyond courage. It is fear, sweat and trembling, but then the words pour out, and you begin to feel that sweet, blissful release.

Sometimes the tears come, sometimes the rage builds, sometimes the memories are too agonizing and the pain amazingly unbearable. But they are nothing compared to the unspeakable joy of sheer relief and potent release that flood through  a person, after it has all been expressed on paper. There is almost no feeling compared to the deliverance from the burdens that have been lifted from the soul, spirit, body and mind, through writing. It is the kind of healing and high that only the one who writes their trauma and looks it in the eye, writes to let it go and lay it down, can understand.

To write your heart takes inner courage, deeper strength, divine release from dark, heavy memories, that bring depression, pain, suffering, insecurity, fear, again, rages and thoughts of suicide. To write your heart, your story, is a personal release. It brings transformation and transcendence into a greater and better place.

There is nothing light about writing your heart, your life, your truth,and your story, but it is not impossible. Whether you end up publishing it or not, it is worth doing.

Set yourself free!

 

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